We’ve been talking a lot about difficult and toxic people. But I wanted to touch on another reason people can be really tricky to manage.
It came to mind as a friend was telling me about the difficult young tradie her husband was managing.
- Wouldn’t show up for meetings
- Didn’t show to the company Christmas party
- Wouldn’t respond to work messages or phone calls.
When he did show up, he seemed eager to please and do the work, so it was baffling as to why he was behaving so unprofessionally outside that.
Before letting him go, my friend’s husband decided to invite him to at least explain himself in person. That’s if he showed up at all.
The other side of the story came as a big surprise to my friend’s husband (the leader in this story).
Not All Difficult Employees Are Toxic: What’s Really Going On Behind the Behaviour
It can be hard to imagine, but this young fellow really did have very poor communication skills, was in his first job, and was so afraid of doing the wrong thing or disappointing his boss that he avoided everything.
Not because he didn’t care. But because he did.
Without hearing his side of the story, it was almost impossible to find some positive intent.
Disrespect or disengagement can actually be inexperience, fear, or a total lack of skills. We assume they will know what to do, but we can’t know that unless we take the time to listen.
My friend’s husband showed true leadership. He didn’t excuse the behaviour. But he didn’t write the young man off either. And once he heard his side of the story he was able to help build the confidence and skills of this young team member.
Leadership is about meeting people where they’re at—and then helping them move forward. Often ‘difficult’ people are just waiting for someone to help them get it right.
All good things,
Juliet Robinson
Leadership and Change Specialist
Here’s how I can help you
The Listen like a Leader guide is the perfect segway to this story. Do you have it already? Get you copy now.
And the next step from there is the difficult conversation part. This $97 masterclass teaches you strategies you will use again and again (at work and at home) to steer difficult conversations with less stress and more ease. Get access now!
