About that difficult-to-handle person in your team, you’ve probably thought:
‘This person is just difficult. There’s no fixing this.
But before you write them off completely, consider this:
Understanding the Root Cause of Difficult Behaviour
What if they’re not toxic – just…unskilled?
Most ‘difficult’ people aren’t actively trying to make your life harder. They simply don’t know how to handle conflict, regulate their emotions, or communicate effectively.
They push back because they feel threatened.
They shut down because they don’t have the words.
They lash out because they were never taught a better way.
The resulting behaviour IS difficult, there’s no doubt about that. But when you start seeing where it’s coming from, something shifts.
How Your Response Shapes the Situation
If someone lacks the skill to handle difficult moments well, how you respond can either escalate the tension or redirect it.
👉 This doesn’t mean you excuse bad behavior.
👉 It simply means you stop expecting them to show up differently – and start leading the situation instead.
So here’s a small challenge for you:
A Mindset Shift: From Frustration to Curiosity
The next time someone is being difficult, instead of assuming bad intent, ask yourself:
‘What skill might they be missing right now?’
The moment you choose your emotional response and go from frustration to curiosity, you take back control.
And that’s the first step in handling difficult people without losing your mind—or your confidence.
More on this in the webinar—have you registered yet?
Juliet Robinson
Leadership and Change Specialist
PS: I’m going to be sharing tools and strategies for dealing with toxic people on the 25th of March—join the waitlist here.
Other ways I can help you:
One-on-one help is the best way to get personalised leadership support. There are only a few spots available in March and early April (I won’t be offering these for most of April and May), so book yours now.
This simple yet practical tried-and-tested framework has been the difficult conversations go-to for leaders I’ve helped over the past 20 or so years.
